Mute

I wish I could tell you right away.

About this funny feeling I felt inside of me since the very first time we met. About how the feeling lingers up to now; though the intensity has lessen bit by bit. About how I choose to remember you the way I want it; until sometimes the boundaries between what is real and what is not becomes idle. About how I’ve been trying to hate you, only to find myself loving you even more. About how I’ve been trying to let you go, but turns out that I cannot. About how you’ve changed my world since then. About how you’ve changed me.

And I wonder if, just once in your busy life, you’ve ever noticed my presence.

I wish I could tell you all these things without being selfish. Since the consequences of having this wish granted might ruined everything about us. About you. And the last thing I want is for you to feel like you’re obliged to cheer me up when things turn ugly.

I have so many soundtracks about us; shuffling inside my head, everyday, as I remember you. James Blunt’s You’re Beautiful is playing right now, since I came to remember the time when you asked me something, and I answered by saying that it wasn’t important.

You wonder why.

James Blunt’s still playing in my head, and I turn up the volume, hoping that somehow you’ll be able to hear it.

You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
and I don’t know what to do.
Cause I’ll never be with you.