I was on the road for a month, came home for a while to unpack and wash some dirty clothes, then headed out again with clean laundry in my bag. I was traveling alone, again. It began in Kyiv, Ukraine, to El Nido, in the Philippines, and ended up in Ubud, Bali on October 7. The journey had been amazing. It was both mind-blowing and heart-warming. I could not imagine how does it feel for those who had been on the road constantly for 8 months, a year, two years—and I met loads of them along the way.

When I started last September, I thought when I got home I would be busy writing as well as posting stories and pictures, because—why, of course there would be so many things to tell, and too many things to share!

But that was not the case.

The truth is, I still couldn’t get myself to write anything about the places I had visited, the people I had met, or the things that had happened to me—because I simply wasn’t ready.

There were days when I just left my camera in my hostel room; or days when I actually carried it in my bag; but didn’t even bother to capture anything—just because I wanted to be ‘here’ with the whole of my being. There were days when I left my guidebook on my bed and just strolled along the city I barely knew; tried to strike conversations in local language with random people I bumped into; welcomed some strangers’ invitations to hit the street and explore what each crossings had to offer…

The journey had been both liberating and overwhelming; in a sense that: well, I experienced much more first-times in one single month compared to what I had experienced in the last 5 years. That was surprising. Such an eye-opener. And it seemed like wherever I went, people kept sending me this message: “Enjoy the moment. Relax. Don’t rush.”

So, I did. And the result was just amazing, it hit me so hard I felt like I had become a new person. I had become more of myself.

hanny

28 Responses

  1. Waaa sama Hanny, dulu kalau pergi-pergi sibuk foto dan mencatat supaya bisa jadi bahan ngeblog atau sekalian sibuk live tweet. Sekarang kalau pergi, rasanya pengen nyasar-nyasar aja kemana sambil menikmati kota atau tempat yang didatangi 😀

    Ini bukan tanda-tanda makin tua kan?

  2. Aku merasakan hal yang sama. Mungkin seperti kata popon, ini tanda-tanda penuaan atau mungkin kadang-kadang banyak hal memang lebih menyenangkan bila dijalani begitu saja.

  3. heiii mbak hani!! loving ur every single post! aaaahhhh u are such an inspiration for me! i love the way u enjoyed ur self traveling. 😉 can i say.. I LOVE YOU!!!!!

  4. dulu.. kalo travelling (yang beneran travelling & bukannya dalam rangka kerja dinas) ke mana gitu, (untungnya) ga bikin catetan buat kemudian ditulis atau ambil foto buat upload — karena emang belom musimnya blogging/foto-foto..

    tapi ya tetep buru-buru sih, lebih karena optimalisasi budget supaya semua objek yang di sana sempet didatangi.. karena belum tentu bisa ke sana lagi dalam waktu dekat…

    1. Aku dulu gitu juga, Bil. Tapi sekarang lebih suka skip touristy spots—kecuali ga sengaja kelewatan. Sekarang seneng explore sendiri, gak tau bakal nemu apa; atau hang out sama orang lokal. Kayak pas di Kiev, nongkrong di apartemen temen yg baru ketemu di sana, ngobrol berjam-jam sambil makan melon dan cuci piring, dengerin top chart lagu-lagu bahasa Rusia. Found it more… interesting in a way ^^

  5. It must have been an amazing experience. I personally can’t imagine being on the road for months long but I’m planning for a 2 to 3 months solo trip next year. The excitement kills me, can’t wait for it. =D

    1. Awww! Sounds exciting! Can’t wait to hear some stories from your journey, I believe it would be an amazing experience! ^^ Happy traveling! 😀

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This year, I learned to accept the days when I don't feel motivated, tired, or a bit grumpy. I learned to allow myself to sit with this feeling instead of feeling guilty about it and forcing myself to be productive, socialize, or just get things done.
Photo by Georgia de Lotz on Unsplash
In the end, self-care is not always about doing the things that make us feel good or give us instant gratification. It's also about doing the RIGHT thing: something that is good for us in the long run—even if it may feel hard at times.
Hanny illustrator
Hi. I'm HANNY
I am an Indonesian writer and an artist/illustrator based in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. I love facilitating writing/creative workshops and retreats, especially when they are tied to self-exploration and self-expression. In Indonesian, 'beradadisini' means being here. So, here I am, documenting life—one word at a time.

hanny

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