It hurts.
Saya melesak semakin dalam bersama setiap kata yang kamu ucapkan. Ternyata pertemuan ini sama sekali tidak menyenangkan. Kenapa kamu selalu kembali di saat saya sudah merasa baik-baik saja sendirian?

Saya muak.
Cerita ini selalu berulang dengan akhir yang berbeda setiap kalinya, tetapi tidak pernah berakhir sesuai dengan apa yang saya inginkan. Episode ini semakin lama menjadi semakin tidak lucu.

Saya capek.

Kemudian getar itu mengalihkan perhatian saya dari duniamu yang tidak pernah bisa saya mengerti (karena saya tidak pernah sungguh-sungguh ada di dalamnya).

“I’m at Kafe Pisa. Wish you were here; helping me with this yummy bella-ritz.”

Saya terharu. Bukan karena getar itu hadir ketika saya sedang merasa sedemikian terpuruk. Bukan pula karena bella-ritz ternyata masih ada setelah sekian lama. Tetapi karena dia ingat.

Inilah satu-satunya dunia yang saya pahami. Dan kamu tidak ada di sana.

hanny

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This year, I learned to accept the days when I don't feel motivated, tired, or a bit grumpy. I learned to allow myself to sit with this feeling instead of feeling guilty about it and forcing myself to be productive, socialize, or just get things done.
Photo by Georgia de Lotz on Unsplash
In the end, self-care is not always about doing the things that make us feel good or give us instant gratification. It's also about doing the RIGHT thing: something that is good for us in the long run—even if it may feel hard at times.
Hanny illustrator
Hi. I'm HANNY
I am an Indonesian writer/artist/illustrator and stationery web shop owner (Cafe Analog) based in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. I love facilitating writing/creative workshops and retreats, especially when they are tied to self-exploration and self-expression. In Indonesian, 'beradadisini' means being here. So, here I am, documenting life—one word at a time.

hanny

TAKE WHAT YOU NEED
VISIT THE SHOP
  • https://digital.c2isante.fr/glpi/
  • http://test.nflalumni.org/
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  • https://kmvholding.turist-kavkaz.ru/
  • https://mfbm.bangsamoro.gov.ph/
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