Ok, this might sounds ridiculous in some way … but I’m not ashamed to say that I’m still waiting for my first kiss.

So out-of-date, ya? Hahaha …

Kalau ada di antara kalian yang bertanya-tanya “kenapa” atau “how come”; mungkin saya cuma bisa bilang: “My heart hasn’t let me”. Klise? Could be. But that’s just how I feel inside. Now some of you might say: “Oh, it’s just a kiss, for God’s sake! It’s not like you’re having sex with someone!”

Mmh, yeah. It’s just a kiss. But it’s MY kiss, kan? Hehehe … ;p Honestly, I’m not waiting for a perfect guy (cause who am I, anyway, looking for a perfect guy? I am far from perfect myself!), a perfect setting, or a perfect moment, cause I know for waiting to do it perfect, it never gets done … Saya cuma menunggu sampai my heart tells me that this is the guy … and I could let him kiss me without a doubt in my heart about whether I want to do it or not, whether I’m ready or not, whether he deserves it or not, whether it’s going to feel good or not…

Karena kalau masih ada sedikiiiit aja rasa ragu dalam hati kita, it means our mind still takes control. It means we’re still thinking. Padahal … a kiss should come from the heart.

And heart doesn’t think …

I want my first kiss to come from my deepest heart. I want it to happen naturally, spontaneously. I want it to happen when I’m so in love with someone, so deep in love with someone… sehingga saya nggak akan sempat berpikir, meragu, atau mempertanyakan segala sesuatu…

And then I’ll let him kiss me just because everything FEELS right! ^_^

So, what about your first kiss? ;p


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Screenshot 2022-12-08 at 12.43.17
This year, I learned to accept the days when I don't feel motivated, tired, or a bit grumpy. I learned to allow myself to sit with this feeling instead of feeling guilty about it and forcing myself to be productive, socialize, or just get things done.
Photo by Georgia de Lotz on Unsplash
In the end, self-care is not always about doing the things that make us feel good or give us instant gratification. It's also about doing the RIGHT thing: something that is good for us in the long run—even if it may feel hard at times.
Hanny illustrator
I am an Indonesian writer and an artist/illustrator based in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. I love facilitating writing/creative workshops and retreats, especially when they are tied to self-exploration and self-expression. In Indonesian, 'beradadisini' means being here. So, here I am, documenting life—one word at a time.