NOTE: From time to time, I turn to you (yes, all of you) when I have no idea about what to write on this blog. Feel free to drop an email or DM me on Instagram if you have any ideas/questions for the blog!
Q: HOW TO PRACTICE MINDFULNESS IN OUR DAILY LIVES?
A: First of all, I love this question because it has the word ‘practice’ in it! Personally, I believe that mindfulness is a practice. It’s not a permanent state of being. It’s an ephemeral thing we would need to cultivate on a daily basis with a healthy dose of discipline, patience, kindness, gratitude, and a spark of joy, to keep it alive–the way we would care for a house plant.
***
Below, I will share the 3 things I do to practice mindfulness on a daily basis. Feel free to adopt these into your life when you see fit.
1. DO ONE THING AT A TIME
Although in various occasions I am proud of my ability to multi-task, to practice mindfulness, I choose to do one thing at a time. To concentrate and focus on one thing–no matter how small or trivial it is: boiling a cup of tea, eating, conversing with friends via instant messenger, planning my day.
The idea is to respect each task or activity on its own and give it its slot of uninterrupted time and attention.
This means to simply focus on eating and enjoying your meals, instead of enjoying your meals while watching Netflix, listening to podcasts, or conversing with friends.
I always find myself capable of finishing a bag of chips or a carton of popcorn effortlessly while watching movies or reading novels. But when I have a bag of chips or a carton of popcorn with me, without any distractions, I realized that in less than 20 seconds, my cravings have been satiated.
Start by selecting several activities each day to practice, and notice how you feel.
2. SLOW DOWN
Everyone has their own idea of ‘slowing down’, but the basic idea is not to be in a hurry–so we can turn off our fight or flight mode. Imagine how you would react to a similar situation–for instance, a traffic jam–when you are in a hurry and when you are not in a hurry.
‘Slowing down’ helps us to get connected to that inner calm inside of us, that is not hurrying, rushing, or buzzing.
This can mean anything from slowing down your breathing to slowing down your car, from slowing down and pause for 10 seconds before you type a comment on someone’s feed to slowing down by taking a break from work. This can also mean talking slower, reacting slower, or walking slower.
3. OBSERVE INSTEAD OF JUDGE
There’s a difference between thinking: “there are unwashed plates piling on the kitchen” and “the owner of this kitchen is lazy and dirty” or “this kitchen is a total disaster“.
When we observe, we see what is. When we judge, we see what we want (or have been taught) to see.
When we observe, the sky is gray. When we judge, the weather sucks–or, on the contrary, the sky looks so romantic. When we observe, that woman skipped the queue. When we judge, that woman is rude, uneducated, someone needs to teach her a lesson or shout at her because that is so unacceptable. When we observe, this city has many old buildings. When we judge, this city is so beautiful.
When we judge something for better or worse, we are sticking ‘labels’ into it based on our histories, our upbringings, our preferences, our experiences, or even our traumas. When we observe, we learn to recognize things as they are; instead of what we think they are.
Next time you’re standing in front of a mirror, or talking to a colleague at work, or even walking around the street, try to notice whether you are observing or judging.
***
Do you have any tips on practicing mindfulness in your daily life? What are some of the things that become a part of your daily mindfulness practice? I would love to hear from you!
When someone asks me what I usually do when I am sad or angry, I would say: “Cleaning the bathroom while crying my eyes out!”
It was a joke. Well, actually, half a joke.
I do find comfort in cleaning, decluttering, or tidying up anything I could think of (not only the bathroom!), especially when I am sad or angry.
I have no idea why I am actually drawn to these activities when I am feeling down. Maybe because the act of cleaning and decluttering provides me a false sense of control (I got this!). Or because it gives me the opportunity to still be sad (or angry) in a (more) positive way.
Or maybe, the act of throwing broken (or forgotten) things out–reminds me of how I can actually let go of things that no longer serve me and my growth in life. Maybe, the vigorous regimen of brushing, scrubbing, and wiping dusty surfaces that follow makes me feel as if I were cleansing myself, emotionally (tears–my organic & natural cleansing agent). Maybe, the painstaking effort in organizing my stuff and tidying up my space is supposed to tell me that it can be done. That now, I can also reorganize my priorities and tidy-up my life (or, more frequently, heart).
I guess, cleaning, decluttering, and tidying up has been my go-to ritual to deal with my (hurt) feelings and my (chaotic) state of being.
***
At a conference I participated in a few years ago, I heard this idea about how we can change our internal state by changing our external environment.
The underlying premise is simple: it’s easier to change things externally than internally; however, when you change your external environment–this change can also affect your internal state.
OK, let’s take an example. Imagine yourself, going about your daily lives. One day, you’re going around in your most comfortable outfit (for me this means sleeveless blouse/shirt, jeans, and sneakers), and on another day, you’re going around doing more or less the same stuff–in a really neat or delicate outfit (maybe an evening gown, or a formal suit). Can you get a sense of how you might act, think, or feel differently–just because you’re wearing a different outfit?
Or imagine yourself working from a plain white cubicle, then working at a cafe with lovely jazz music in the background, and then working from a noisy pub. Do you think there’s a shift in your mental/emotional state as you’re changing your workstation from one place to the next?
That is more or less the premise behind the ‘outside-in’ idea. When we have no idea how to change our internal state of being, change our external environment to get closer to the feeling we’d like to feel.
If we want to feel happy, or healthy (or wealthy, creative, confident, anything, really) but we don’t know how to get there ‘internally’, change our external environment. Change the way we dress, the way we speak, the way we spend our time, our morning routine, our social circle, our daily habits, to feel that way. What kind of outfit change could make us feel a bit more creative? What kind of morning routine could make us feel a bit healthier? What kind of people we could surround ourselves with that could make us feel a bit happier?
In this case, cleaning, decluttering, and tidying-up has become my ‘outside-in’ way of changing my internal state by mirroring it through my external environment. When I am sad or angry or feeling down in general, I can’t think of ways to clean, declutter, or tidy up my mental/emotional state. And so, I clean, declutter, and tidy up the bathroom, the bedroom, my drawers… until I feel something shifting inside of me.
***
The absence of broken things and piles of rubbish makes me feel like a big burden has just been lifted out of my shoulders. Empty spaces, racks, or drawers, makes me feel like I can breathe deeply and effortlessly. Gleaming surfaces makes me feel light and in control.
As everything is being placed neatly, right where they are supposed to be placed, I feel as if I am also experiencing that. Everything eventually falls into place, and I am back to where I am supposed to be.
PS: In my next post, I will write about organizing my simple wedding in Amsterdam, and why I choose Paperless Post for my wedding invitation.
NOTE: From time to time, I turn to you (yes, all of you) when I have no idea about what to write on this blog. Feel free to drop an email or DM me on Instagram if you have any ideas/questions for the blog!
Q: How to leave a toxic relationship?
Disclaimer: I am only sharing my personal take/experience related to this issue. I am not an expert, so please do not consider this post as your final answer. Take it with a grain of salt, do your own research, and reach out to an expert/authority figure if you need professional help to get out of a toxic relationship.
A: I guess I would answer this question with another question: “What makes you stay in that toxic relationship?”
I believe that to know how to leave a toxic relationship, we need to know why we’re staying there in the first place.
Dr. Lillian Glass, a California-based communication and psychology expert, says that a toxic relationship is consistently unpleasant and draining for the people in it, to the point that negative moments outweigh and outnumber the positive ones.
Dr. Kristen Fuller, a California-based family medicine physician who specializes in mental health, adds that toxic relationships are mentally, emotionally and possibly even physically damaging to one or both participants. And these relationships don’t have to be romantic: Glass says friendly, familial and professional relationships can all be toxic as well.
With that being said, logically, we know that we need to get out of a toxic relationship. That’s crystal clear. The problem is, we don’t always feel like we’re capable of getting ourselves out of that relationship, for many different reasons (one can be more complicated than another).
However, most of the time, it’s fear. We are afraid to leave.
What do you get out of that relationship?
We’re afraid of leaving that relationship because we believe that despite being toxic, we get something out of that relationship. Maybe we get the feeling of being loved, assurance, friendship, comfort, a sense of familiarity, security, or financial support. The fear is about missing these things in our lives if we decided to leave the toxic relationship.
Now, the question is, how can you get those things you (think) you need outside of this relationship? How can you give yourself those things? Are there other people that can provide you with those things and who are they? How can you get them to help you?
Make plans on how you can get those things that you need (or want) outside of your toxic relationship. Get it from other people, or get it from yourself. Once you know that you can have the things you need outside of your toxic relationship, you’ll gain the confidence you need to leave. You won’t be afraid to leave anymore because you know that what you need (or want) can still be obtained outside of that toxic relationship.
This is what I did to leave a toxic relationship I was once in.
Do you think this toxic relationship poses a serious threat to your life, either physically, emotionally, or mentally?
If yes, immediately reach out to a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a social worker/activist, or an authority figure you respect. If that sounds like too much of a stretch, reach out to a friend or family member you trust. Yes, it can be hard, but do it. Save yourself. Your life matters. Love and respect yourself by seeking help to get out of the relationship as soon as possible.
Cutting ties.
While you’re in the process of getting out of a toxic relationship, when possible, I find it best to totally cut ties with the other person. Do not stay with them, be with them, talk to them, or meet them. For me, this is important to prevent me from swaying or changing my minds (oh, maybe s/he’ll change. oh, this time s/he promised. oh, s/he said sorry).
It will be more difficult and more challenging to get out of the toxic relationship if we are frequently in touch with the other person. Their pull can still be so strong, and we’re risking ourselves to get sucked back into that relationship again.
However, if it’s impossible to totally cut ties with the other person at the moment, try reducing your time/interaction with him/her. Surround yourself with people that make you feel good. Sign yourself up to join various activities that you love. In the meantime, reach out to the people you trust and make plans about how you can distance yourself from this person.
But, I love him/her. I want to help him/her.
I know that this, sometimes, becomes our excuse to go back into a toxic relationship (I was guilty of this!). However, we need to know that we can’t love them if we can’t love ourselves. And we can’t help them when we have terribly wounded ourselves. The best thing to do is to love ourselves first by healing our wounds and nursing ourselves back to health. Once we’re completely healed and strong, once we’ve gained our confidence that we can be completely OK outside of that toxic relationship, then we can decide if we want to ‘help’ the other person, or if we want to get connected/interact with them again.
When I was young, I used to get ‘trapped’ in the prince-charming mindset: that there will come a man with all the qualities and criteria I have ever dreamed of to love me and to make me happy.
But here are the flaws in that:
We put the effort in ‘finding’ the ‘right’ man who meets our criteria.
The man who meets our criteria may or may not be interested in us.
The man who meets our criteria and ends up being in a relationship with us may not bring us the love and happiness we thought he would!
I think the biggest flaws is that the prince-charming mindset focuses on finding or searching for ‘the right man’, an external factor that is out of our control.
When I started to do more sessions in writing/journaling for self-discovery, I found a better way to approach this. I asked myself 2 things:
how would the ideal relationship I want to experience look/feel like? (detailing the qualities, feelings, and activities I’d like to experience in the relationship itself–NOT about the man)
how can I improve myself so I can offer that kind of relationship to the people I love/care about?
Doing this shifted my focus from ‘searching for the right man’ to ‘creating the feeling/qualities I’d like to experience in a relationship’. It made me feel more like an active participant rather than a passive one, and in a way, more empowered.
What about you? Have you ever experienced something similar? Have you ever met a man that seems to meet your ‘criteria’ but the relationship doesn’t flourish? Or what is your take about the issue?
“Breathe like a turtle,” said Dr. Suresh, my Ayurvedic doctor.
He then mentioned the way some animals breathe: a dog (+24 breaths/minute), a bear (+15 breaths/minute), a turtle (4 breaths/minute).
“Animals that breathe slower live longer,” he said.
Thus, the turtle breath.
***
I know that breathing correctly and mindfully has a vital role in our wellbeing. We can clearly notice how we breathe when we’re angry, tired, anxious, rushing–and how they differ from how we breathe when we’re relaxed, calm, and slowing down.
I learned a few years ago that if you don’t know how to change your mood, change the way you breathe.
If you’d like to feel a bit calmer, breathe the way you breathe when you have just arrived in a beautiful, pristine place, and about to relax while admiring the gorgeous view. Or breathe following the rhythm of the ups and downs of a cat’s (or a baby’s) belly when it’s soundly sleeping.
Writing on my journal, decorating it, and flipping the pages unhurriedly in the morning helps me to breathe slower. Noticing the way I breathe throughout the day also helps me to know my mental state at a particular moment, and give me the opportunity to consciously ‘breathe’ a better mental state.
***
How do you breathe today? 🙂
PS: Oh, there’s also this beautiful app called Tide I installed on my phone as it has some guided breathing exercise.
Can you believe that it’s only less than a month to the end of 2018?
I have been a little bit busy with work these past few months (and I am also working on my YouTube channel on journaling), but I have been missing working on my blog and sharing my thoughts & musings the way I used to do in the old days.
I always feel as if time flies away so fast, and I have to admit that sometimes I am being hard on myself–feeling that I haven’t done anything great, anything meaningful, anything worth remembering.
Maybe this is why one of my end-of-year favorite moments is actually having my me-time, flipping over the pages of my journals and reading all the small things that made me happy, tiny fragments of life that made me grow or rethink my beliefs and perspectives, delicious food that makes my belly purrs in delight.
This year’s end-of-year me-time involves creating an affirmation calendar for myself.
I found it a bit challenging to find a lovely calendar for 2019 that is already equipped with some Indonesian national/public holidays; so I decided to create one with the pictures from Unsplash in passport size for everyday carry.
When I finished, I thought: “Why not share it with everyone else?”
And so, the calendar is available if you’d like to download or print it. Just click here: Calendar 2019 – Passport Size
All in all, maybe it doesn’t matter if there is nothing big happening in our lives, as long as we can recall and reminisce the tiny ones as we remember them with gratitude.
I read too many self-help books growing up (I read self-help books of Canfield & Carnegie since high school—maybe that explains why I grow up like this!). And it was from those books that I absorbed the ideas of a vision board and the power of thoughts.
I created my first vision board in my first year in college. I did it on an A4 page that I inserted into a clear envelope inside my ring binder.
It was pretty straightforward and there was nothing aesthetic about it: basically, I just cut out some pictures from old magazines—pictures that represent the things I want in life. At the time, these are pictures of handsome guys, lovey-dovey romantic scenes, and branded goods (plenty of them in the magazine’s ads!). I scribbled some affirmations on top of it with a gel pen. Something along the lines of ‘You’re Beautiful’ or ‘Guys Like You!’.
I guess you could see where my priority lies back then.
“A collage of images, pictures, and affirmations of your dreams, goals, and things that make you happy. It can also be called a dream board, treasure map, or vision map. Creating a vision board can be a useful tool to help you conceptualize your goals and can serve as a source of motivation as you work towards achieving your dreams.“
After my college days, I kept on creating vision boards, at least once every 1-2 year(s). I no longer made it in my ring binder, though. Sometimes I made a spread of my vision board inside my journal. Other times I created my vision board as a desktop wallpaper so I can see it every time I open my laptop. And about 10 years ago I bought a writing board in a bookstore: half of it is a corkboard and the other half is a whiteboard. I used it to create my vision board ever since.
To me, apart from trying to figure out what kind of life I want for myself, making a vision board is simply a fun activity—especially when I am stuck at home with nothing better to do. It’s a bit like daydreaming (or hallucinating), but this time you could actually see what you’ve been daydreaming about right there, on the board (or paper, or whatever medium you choose).
Collect words, images, and pictures for your vision board.
Because I have stopped hoarding magazines, these days I go to the Internet to find pictures and images for my vision board. My favorite go-to places are Unsplash, Storyblocks, and Pinterest. However, when it comes to selecting words, pictures, or images, there is one thing I learned from my previous mistakes in creating a vision board(s).
Previously, I was very literal when it comes to my vision boards. If I wanted to lose weight, I would find a picture of a girl with a fit and well-toned body. If I wanted to be in a relationship, I would find a picture of a happy couple. If I wanted a house, I tried to find a picture of a beautiful house. If I wanted more money? Exactly. I would find a picture of a huge pile of money.
I did this for quite some time only to realize that I usually lost my interest in my vision board after 2-3 weeks (which means I would take down my vision board from the wall and hide it behind my cupboard). Somehow, seeing those things on my vision board weighed me down with the realization that I do not have them. Every time I looked at my vision board, I felt a bit stressed out, as if I was forced to work hard to make them a reality; or else I would end up a failure.
So, here’s how I created my vision board today: instead of focusing on finding the images of the things I want, I am focusing on finding pictures, quotes, or images that stir a happy and comfortable feeling inside of me. That’s it. No more images of a bunch of branded goods, a pile of money, or a first-class cabin–if seeing them don’t make me feel happy or comfortable.
The same goes for finding a quote. If my heart melts when I read the quote, the quote ends up on my vision board.
I realized that this is the approach that works best for me: to concentrate on feelings instead of things.
I want to be able to look at my vision board and feel happy instead of stressed out from thinking about how I would get all those things I didn’t have. I want to look at my vision board and be reminded of the feeling I have always wanted to feel in life: happy, content, peaceful, creative, free, loving, safe.
A vision board works best for me when it focuses on feelings instead of things.
If you think you’re someone like me, you might want to try this approach for your vision board. However, if you think you’re more motivated, driven, and inspired when you know you’re chasing things instead of feelings, by all means, create your vision board that way!
The bottom line is to create the vision board you’ll love, that will make you feel happy and inspired after seeing it instead of stressed out and demotivated. Find out which type of person you are, and create a vision board that will serve you best!
Using your vision board.
After finding all the pictures, images, and words or quotes I want to use on my vision board, I usually print them all (I use usual photocopy paper) and then cut them out. Then, I will try to find the best layout for the cut-outs to be displayed on the board. I mostly use washi tapes and cardboard pins to do this (instead of glues or double-sided tape). I want to make sure that I can reuse the board again the following year.
Once I’m done with my vision board, I display it in a spot where I can see it often, on a daily basis. If I find some particular pictures or quotes that annoy me somehow, I take them down or replace them with something else.
I like to see my vision board as a living organism that grows with my state of mind and my state of being. So, I allow myself to change things here and there when I feel the urge to do so. Plus, the idea of having this vision board is to lift up my mood! So, I want to make sure that I like what I see and can feel an instant boost of happiness just by looking at it.
Keeping a vision journal as a company.
Whenever I feel inspired (usually on a relaxing Sunday evening), I will pick an image or a quote from my vision board, look at it, and write down whatever goes through my mind about that particular image or quote. It helps me to access the feeling of each picture or quote evokes in me and clarify what the image/words actually represent.
Why does this particular image/quote feel good to me?
What does this image/quote remind me of?
What does this image/quote represent in my life?
What can I do, daily, to recreate the feeling this image/quote evoke in me?
What would my days look like if I have experienced everything that is represented by this image/quote?
How would I be a different person if I have experienced everything that is represented by this image/quote?
How would my outlook on life change if I have experienced everything that is represented by this image/quote?
To me, answering those questions help to gain clarity on the kind of life I aspire to have and the kind of person I’d like to be. It feels easier because I don’t have to start writing from nothing: I have a picture I want to write about and some questions related to the picture! Now, all I need to do is answer those questions honestly.
I actually find this journaling activity relaxing. It really helps me to bring something abstract into a more concrete pen-on-paper kind of thing. Whenever I reread the journal, I was reminded again of the feelings I want to invite into my life.
It serves as a compass that keeps on pointing to the North whenever I feel like I’m disoriented or about to get lost.
Creating a vision board together.
Creating a vision board doesn’t have to be a solitary activity. If you like, you can also work on a shared vision board with a group of friends, with your spouse, or even with your colleagues.
When I was still working full-time, I created a ‘professional’ vision board together with everyone else from my division. The end result was our division’s vision board, representing everyone’s professional wishes and dreams. Once we completed the board, we took turns to point out the images or quotes we’ve pasted. Each person told everyone else what their images/quotes represent; both for the division and for his/her professional development.
It was a really interesting exercise because it stirred fun and relaxed conversations about things that are not usually talked about! Professionally, we’re usually talking about what we want (promotion, opportunities, flexible office hours, payrise) instead of why we want them. Discussing the images and quotes in the vision board by answering some of the journaling questions listed above can really help us to understand others better: to know what’s important for them and find out what really moves or motivates them in life.
So, feel free to work on your vision board as a group or a pair!
—
Anyway, I’ll be very happy to hear your stories about creating a vision board or keeping a vision journal. Let me know if you’ve tried this and what kind of vision board works best for you!
Three days after arriving back home, still I haven’t unpacked, haven’t gone out, haven’t met anyone, and haven’t done anything productive—apart from replying to some emails that need to be replied, and meeting deadlines. I am that kind of person. After being surrounded by a lot of people or being on the road for a long time, constantly moving and bumping into others—I need my downtime. I need to recharge. I need a break.
I need to pause.
Do you need to be alone to recharge?
I’ve known some friends who can be on the road for what seems like an indefinite period, moving from one city to another every 3-4 days, then coming back home and heading out to see some friends directly from the airport. The next day, they would have had some meetings or meet-ups, attended events, edited pictures, and wrote some articles about their travels, went to the gym, unpacked, plus organized another trip.
I envy them.
I envy people who do not need downtime.
Those who live their lives like an Energizer bunny. They are so energized. So active. So unstoppable. It seems as if they could do so much in the first few days they came back from their traveling journeys, while here I am, still enjoying the feeling of not having to go anywhere or to do anything, savoring the privilege of being alone.
These past few days can be simply summarised into coffee – books – bed – movies – lunch – books – bed – coffee -movies – bed (insert ‘work’ only when really necessary—meaning, deadline is tomorrow).
This is how I recharge. To recover from travel-lag. To readjust the pace and pattern of my day. I live best the way I travel best: slowly.
There are 2 places I would dearly call home.
My real hometown in Bogor, and my adopted little town of Ubud.
Both are easy to navigate because each one is a donut: Bogor with the Botanical Garden to fill in the hole, and Ubud with its Monkey Forest.
Both are small towns (my boyfriend still finds it funny whenever I refer to Bogor, with a million people, as a small town) with access to networks, opportunities, and vibrant creative communities trying to make a difference. Only an hour away from Bogor, there’s Jakarta: the capital of all things shiny—while an hour or two away from Ubud, there’s Sanur and Seminyak: the hubs for any kind of jobs imaginable.
Both hometowns host loving friends and families (I once wrote that home is any place where you’ll be missed, while the boyfriend said that home is wherever your wi-fi connects automatically).
They are both small enough for you to bump into old friends (or exes!) in public events, restaurants, and coffee shops, but big enough should you want to exile yourself in the faraway villages or hide in the mountains. Nature provides plenty of breathing spaces not far from the center, and the arrays of mouth-watering street food deserve no such thing as a diet.
Nevertheless, the silent contentment of being home is simply that: being home.
To wake up on the same bed where you’ve cried yourself to sleep when you’re still an angsty teenager. To be surrounded by your overloaded bookshelves. To have your dog jumps on you because she wants to play. To talk to your Dad about how you’ve managed to float like a starfish in Raja Ampat.
To walk around the house with that old shirt and pants you’ve had since you were 17. To cook whatever you want because the kitchen utensils are all there, waiting to be put into good use. To create new therapeutic ointments with coconut oil and your growing collections of essential oils. To put your clay mask on and compress your eyes with slices of cucumbers.
To start your day with a set of routines you’ve developed throughout the years. To know what everything is for, where everything is stored, and how everything works.
To feel as if you can go anywhere, but at the same time not wanting to go somewhere else.
Probably, as much as it’s a convenient place, home is more of a feeling: about knowing that no matter how far you go, you’ll always find a place to go back to. About remembering your root and who you truly are. About being you when nobody’s noticing. It’s a feeling of knowing that you are free both to leave or to stay.
It’s about that yearning that keeps tugging on your heartstrings when you’re away.
Whatever that yearning is, it’s home.
______
PS: If reading is one of your favorite down-time, you might want to check Bookmate–a mobile reading app where you could find tons of fiction and non-fiction books. If you’d like to try the premium access for free for a month, insert the code readwithhanny here. I have a shelf there storing some of my favorite books about writing, Writer’s Reads.
hanny
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Hi. I'm HANNY
I am an Indonesian writer/artist/illustrator and stationery web shop owner (Cafe Analog) based in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. I love facilitating writing/creative workshops and retreats, especially when they are tied to self-exploration and self-expression. In Indonesian, 'beradadisini' means being here. So, here I am, documenting life—one word at a time.
To wake up on the same bed where you’ve cried yourself to sleep when you’re still an angsty teenager. To be surrounded by your overloaded bookshelves. To have your dog jumps on you because she wants to play. To talk to your Dad about how you’ve managed to float like a starfish in Raja Ampat.
