Pada sekian ingatan tentangnya, matamu masih saja menurunkan hujan.

Aku sering berkata, kalian berdua nampak lucu bersama. Kamu tersenyum, dia merona. Kamu selalu berkata bahwa dia adalah satu-satunya yang tetap tinggal ketika yang lain pergi. Dia bilang kamu satu-satunya orang yang pernah melihatnya menangis. Mungkin memang hanya kamu dan dia yang tak bisa melihatnya. Sesuatu yang jelas terlihat bagi semua orang kecuali kalian berdua:

kalian jatuh cinta.

Pada sekian ingatan tentangmu, wajahnya masih saja basah.

Aku sering berkata, kalian tidak seharusnya begini. Tetapi kamu enggan memulai, sementara dia enggan mengakhiri. Aku sering bertanya, mengapa kalian takut bahagia. Kamu bilang kamu tidak takut bahagia. Kamu hanya takut kecewa. Lalu kamu menatapnya. Dia memalingkan wajahnya, menyalakan sebatang rokok, dan tidak mengatakan apa-apa.

Silence is a girl’s loudest cry.

hanny

10 Responses

  1. “Tetapi kamu enggan memulai, sementara dia enggan mengakhiri”

    wah, ini persis pengalaman pribadiku kak 🙁 aku pikir itu lebih baik. Ternyata mengakhiri sebelum pernah dimulai itu lebih menyakitkan 🙁

    dan rasa sakit itu mengajarkan aku untuk berani 🙂 dan aku bahagia sekarang :*

If you made it this, far, please say 'hi'. It really means a lot to me! :)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

WANT TO SHARE WITH SOMEONE WHO NEED THIS?

READ MORE:

Unsplash
We tend to shape our memories of them based on the limited time we spend with them—and our memories of them, over time, will be replaced with one single word, one single interaction, or one single feeling.
Beradadisini Love Letter to Self
I took up a personal journaling project this week: writing a love letter to myself before bed. I work on a thin A6-size handmade paper journal I got from a paper artist, Els. The journal is thin and small enough, so it doesn't overwhelm me. It feels like I am only going to work on a small project.
annie-spratt-YF8NTmQyhdg-unsplash
Standing up for yourself does not have to look aggressive. It does not have to feel like a fight. It's not always about convincing others or explaining yourself and your decisions with the hope that everyone else understands or accepts your choice.
Hanny illustrator
Hi. I'm HANNY
I am an Indonesian writer/artist/illustrator and stationery web shop owner (Cafe Analog) based in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. I love facilitating writing/creative workshops and retreats, especially when they are tied to self-exploration and self-expression. In Indonesian, 'beradadisini' means being here. So, here I am, documenting life—one word at a time.

hanny

TAKE WHAT YOU NEED
VISIT THE SHOP