“It’s just that … I am so in love with him. I know I’m in a deep shit. Rescue me!” she yelled over a cup of coffee. The tears. The tissues. Disappointment. It hurts her. And it hurts us.

The rain had just stopped as we gathered inside that small coffee shop in town. Just us. As always.

We sat there in silence for a few moments, and then I asked her: “Are you sure? Do you really want to be rescued?”

She couldn’t answer to that.

There’s nothing we can do to change her mind. She is a grown-up now. She knows that she’s doing what she’s not supposed to be doing. But she has made her own choice. To live with it. And to bear all the consequences that might occur along the way. To her, the pain has become somehow addictive. And now she’s simply numb. Numb of all the things she used to believe …

“Loving him is not a mistake. The mistake lies in loving him the way you do.”


3 Responses

  1. Hmm ..
    It’s not easy to put black and white in something called love. There’s a quote says “All is fair in love and war … “
    How true is that ? I wouldn’t dare to answer because I still see it isn’t fair for most of the people in Iraq when the US decided to do (and keep !!) the agression there.

  2. erwin:
    halah, hehehe kayak penting aja ;p

    yeah, I guess I have to agree with you. moreover, why should we see the world merely in black and white while other colors are there to beautify life itself?

    however, I still believe that some things are naturally right and some others are naturally wrong.

    and about the US agression to Iraq … I would say the same thing: “Freeing Iraq is not a mistake. The mistake lies in freeing Iraq through military agression.”

    Peace! 🙂

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We tend to shape our memories of them based on the limited time we spend with them—and our memories of them, over time, will be replaced with one single word, one single interaction, or one single feeling.
Beradadisini Love Letter to Self
I took up a personal journaling project this week: writing a love letter to myself before bed. I work on a thin A6-size handmade paper journal I got from a paper artist, Els. The journal is thin and small enough, so it doesn't overwhelm me. It feels like I am only going to work on a small project.
Standing up for yourself does not have to look aggressive. It does not have to feel like a fight. It's not always about convincing others or explaining yourself and your decisions with the hope that everyone else understands or accepts your choice.
Hanny illustrator
I am an Indonesian writer/artist/illustrator and stationery web shop owner (Cafe Analog) based in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. I love facilitating writing/creative workshops and retreats, especially when they are tied to self-exploration and self-expression. In Indonesian, 'beradadisini' means being here. So, here I am, documenting life—one word at a time.