+ Saya minta maaf…
Minta maaf buat apa?
+ Yah, buat semua kesalahan saya.
Kesalahan yang mana?
+ Ya, semuanya, lah. Pokoknya kalau saya punya salah sama kamu, saya minta maaf.
Memang kamu punya salah apa sama saya?
+ Hmm, yah, banyak, kan?
Misalnya?
+ Ya, pokoknya saya minta maaf kalau saya pernah bikin salah.
Kalau? Jadi kamu belum tentu punya salah sama saya?
+ Yah, yaaa, gitu deh …
Kalau kamu nggak punya salah ngapain minta maaf?!!

————

Saya nggak ngerti. Dan menjadi sedikit kesal. Bagaimana seseorang bisa sungguh-sungguh minta maaf jika tidak tahu (atau tidak mau) menyebutkan kesalahannya?

Bukankah ide sebuah permintaan maaf adalah untuk menunjukkan niat baik dan penyesalan seseorang; dan tidak mengulangi kesalahan yang pernah dilakukan? Bagaimana bisa kita tidak mengulangi suatu kesalahan jika tidak tahu perbuatan mana yang salah dan tidak boleh diulangi?

Ini rumit. Sudah hampir waktu buka puasa. Martabak di meja tengah itu luar biasa harumnya. Terlintas dalam benak saya: ya sudah, saya maafkan sajalah …

hanny

2 Responses

  1. Atta: Alhamdulillah, sudah sembuh, ta … tinggal menyisakan pilek sedikit which is nothing compared to my previous illness 🙂

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We tend to shape our memories of them based on the limited time we spend with them—and our memories of them, over time, will be replaced with one single word, one single interaction, or one single feeling.
Beradadisini Love Letter to Self
I took up a personal journaling project this week: writing a love letter to myself before bed. I work on a thin A6-size handmade paper journal I got from a paper artist, Els. The journal is thin and small enough, so it doesn't overwhelm me. It feels like I am only going to work on a small project.
annie-spratt-YF8NTmQyhdg-unsplash
Standing up for yourself does not have to look aggressive. It does not have to feel like a fight. It's not always about convincing others or explaining yourself and your decisions with the hope that everyone else understands or accepts your choice.
Hanny illustrator
Hi. I'm HANNY
I am an Indonesian writer/artist/illustrator and stationery web shop owner (Cafe Analog) based in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. I love facilitating writing/creative workshops and retreats, especially when they are tied to self-exploration and self-expression. In Indonesian, 'beradadisini' means being here. So, here I am, documenting life—one word at a time.

hanny

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