NOTE: From time to time, I turn to you (yes, all of you) when I have no idea about what to write on this blog. Feel free to drop an email or DM me on Instagram if you have any ideas/questions for the blog! This post is to answer a question from @_ryuniarti.
adjective (lonelier, loneliest)
1 sad because one has no friends or company: lonely old people whose families do not care for them.
• without companions; solitary: passing long lonely hours looking on to the street.
2 (of a place) unfrequented and remote: a lonely country lane.
Q: Have you ever felt lonely?
A: Yes, and actually, quite often.
What’s strange is that I rarely feel lonely when I am alone (which may sound like a contradiction). I feel lonely mostly in the presence of other people: like in a crowd or a big group; but sometimes also one-on-one.
Being an only child, I am used to being alone and I grow up enjoying the solitude it brings. I have the confidence of someone who can always entertain herself and get herself engaged either physically or mentally. It is being around people that make me feel out of place; especially when there’s a lack of meaningful interactions.
For these reasons, I feel lonely during such circumstances when people are compelled to make small talk or exchange pleasantries just for the sake of politeness. And feel the loneliest when I am talking to my closest ones—knowing that (for some reasons) we put our guards up and choose our words carefully instead of being real.