Unsent letters are sad. Depressive. Melancholic. But these letters are hopelessly romantic as well. I have a stack of unsent letters in my drawer. Sometimes, though I have expressed my feelings to a particular person, the unsent letters I wrote for that person remain unsent. Maybe I’ll send it one day. Or maybe not πŸ˜€

The ocean breeze feels so cool on my skin. That very ocean is soon to be my grave. They told me I will die a hero. That the safety and honor of my country will be the reward for my sacrifice. I pray that they are right. My only regret in life is never telling you how I feel. I wish I were back home. I wish I were holding your hand. I wish I were telling you that I have loved you. And only you since I was a boy.

But I am not.

I see now that death is easy. It is love that is hard. As my plane dives, I will not see the face of my enemies. I would instead will see your eyes. Like Blackrock frozing in the water. They tell us that we must scream ‘Banzai!’ as we plunge into our target. I will instead, whisper your name.

And in death, as in life, I will remain forever yours.


*) by Hiroshi Takahashi—a Kamikaze pilot. This unsent letter dies with him.
[From Gus van Sant’s movie, RESTLESS, 2011]

**) the picture is an edited snapshot from the brochure of my Lomo Super Sampler.


9 Responses

  1. You remind me of letters I hav packed away in a little “time-capsule” that I never had an address to send them to. It’s been years and I still can’t let them go, and yet if I could I would send them to whom they are addressed to feel a little closure! A lovely post, have you ever read the book “the little prince”? The quote you use by Hiroshi reminds me a bit of it, it’s my favourite book πŸ™‚

  2. Of course! I looove The Little Prince, especially when The Little Prince met The Snake:

    “Where are the people?” resumed the little prince at last. “It’s a little lonely in the desert…”
    “It is lonely when you’re among people, too,” said the snake.
    Antoine de Saint-Exupery (The Little Prince, 1943)

    Love everything about the book, from the storyline to the quotes to the illustration and I love all the metaphors, the way The Little Prince tamed The Fox, the relationship between The Little Prince and The Flower, how The Pilot be reminded of The Little Prince whenever he sees the stars, all is just to excruciatingly beautiful!!! I am mesmerized by everything inside it! Such a feast. Such a maturely-childish tale! :’)

  3. unsent letters. how lovely that we write them everyday. in thoughts. reflected in our eyes. whispered. and whispered. unknown to anyone. unheard but only to few gazing stars. sharing pain and sorrow. wishing on the same night sky. and the stars fell each time our tears fall. how tragic. and beautiful.

    1. unsent letters. heart-shaped memories, bursting in words. lonely sentences, never leave those torn pages. crumpled secrets, inside a stack of envelopes. silent phrases and faraway wishes at the back of your plane tickets.

      the farthest distance is one that is not crossed.

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Beradadisini Love Letter to Self
I took up a personal journaling project this week: writing a love letter to myself before bed. I work on a thin A6-size handmade paper journal I got from a paper artist, Els. The journal is thin and small enough, so it doesn't overwhelm me. It feels like I am only going to work on a small project.
Standing up for yourself does not have to look aggressive. It does not have to feel like a fight. It's not always about convincing others or explaining yourself and your decisions with the hope that everyone else understands or accepts your choice.
Hanny illustrator
I am an Indonesian writer/artist/illustrator and stationery web shop owner (Cafe Analog) based in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. I love facilitating writing/creative workshops and retreats, especially when they are tied to self-exploration and self-expression. In Indonesian, 'beradadisini' means being here. So, here I am, documenting lifeβ€”one word at a time.