One day, you’ll understand that the highest compliment you could ever receive is having someone who is with you; instead of having someone who wants to be with you.

By then, you’ve learned the hard way: that promises are not that difficult to break, that people don’t always mean what they say, and that hearts will always change course. When the day comes, you’ll just get it: that the highest compliment you could ever receive has nothing to do with having someone who wants to spend the rest of his life with you. The highest compliment you could ever receive–on the contrary, has everything to do with having the one who is with you: right here, right now.

The most precious gift one can give you is time: the willingness to spend one’s time with you–conscious about the fact that one will never know how much time one has left in the world. What makes us think that we will always have more time? What makes us believe that there will come a perfect day when we will feel better and stronger and bolder… and only when the day comes, then we can offer more of ourselves and our love to the one that deserves it? How do we know that this perfect day will ever come? And even if this perfect day does come to us, what makes us think that the one we love will still be around?

One day, you’ll understand that I-miss-you is actually one of the saddest words one could ever say to you. You used to blush and giggle to the sight or sound of the three words until you started to hear the unspoken words accompanying the three. I-miss-you means I-want-to-be-with-you (but I’m not). I-miss-you means I-want-things-to-go-back-the-way-they-used-to-be (but they’re not). I-miss-you means I-want-us-to-be-together (but we’re not). Now you realize that there are conscious options in every I-miss-yous; conscious options not to do something about it but simply saying it–though we know that we may not have more time.

The best I-miss-you one could ever get is the I-miss-you that is never spoken. Because the one who wants to be with you is there with you; the one who wants things to go back the way they used to be is currently making an effort to do so, and the one who wants the two of you to be together is sitting by your side: holding you as if it’s the most pressing thing in the world one is supposed to do.

Someone who loves you doesn’t need to hear a promise of forever-ever-after. Someone who loves you is not waiting to finally end up with the best version of yourself. Someone who loves you is not looking forward to the day when you can offer what you think she deserves.

Someone who loves you simply wants to be with you–for who you are, with all your flaws and imperfections, right here, right now. Someone who loves you simply wants to hold your hand and look into your eyes in silence and kiss you and smile at you with all of her being and tell you how much she feels for you, right here, right now. Someone who loves you knows that we have no idea about how much time we have left in the world, and precisely because of that, someone who loves you makes a brave and conscious option to spend that time with none other but you: right here, right now.

So be here. So be there.

hanny

15 Responses

  1. I understand the feeling of wanting that, to be suffocated and immersed with that feeling of being the most important. A caution, that I am not sure that you know based upon your words, priorities must shift and things MUST change. The need to feel love addicted isn’t always the most healthy. We are not 2 where we stamp our feet and get what we want when we want it ALL of the time.

    People do make excuses not to be enough, however it is our own job to be enough for ourselves alone. Sometimes too, the best thing to hear is “I miss you!” When life on life’s terms has gotten in the way of the ideal, and then some sort of corrective action follows, even if the person at that time cannot be physically present for you.

    It all can be a fine line to walk, knowing which is which. Sometimes I have to decide what it is that I really want right in that moment that I am feeling the pit that appears like it might be filled by another’s this or another’s that. It won’t ever be, it can only be covered up so that I can’t see it or notice it in that moment, leaving me to chase it always, to panic always when my demands cannot or are not met.

  2. Abolutely. You are sometimes so eloquent in your writings. I love when you talk about love and what you talk about when you are not talking about love ( hope you get that reference).

If you made it this, far, please say 'hi'. It really means a lot to me! :)

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Hi. I'm HANNY
I'm a published writer, a creative content consultant, and a stationery/blog designer based in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. In Indonesian, 'beradadisini' means being here. So, here I am!

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