Yes, I’m Female. And I’m Traveling Alone.

And it just happened. From short-distance trip to crossing half of the globe, I found myself enjoying traveling alone–savoring the privilege of doing whatever I like in whatever pace I want while turning strangers into friends along the way. It has been an enriching experience that helps me to become more confident, thoughtful, and considerate. Some female readers ask me what are the things they need to consider if they would like to travel solo themselves; so I think I’ll just share some tips from my experience below:

Solo Female Traveler

  1. Don’t be a bitch. No matter how pissed off you are, how angry you are, control yourself, control your emotion. You are alone in a strange country–if you’re being a bitch and making hurtful comments to someone, you’re attracting unnecessary hatred towards yourself. Just be kind, but prompt. I know sometimes guys approach you when you’re walking or invite you for some drinks; other times a beggar follows you around asking for money. You can smile and say ‘no’ politely, and then say ‘no’ again promptly when they’re still trying, or say ‘no’ again and walk away briskly. But don’t make a drama out of it. If you don’t like the taste of a local food or find the streets so gross and dirty or think that a local custom doesn’t make sense, don’t make nasty comments or ugly faces or throwing evil judgments. Accept the fact that each country is different, and respect that. Think of how you would feel if a traveler made nasty comments about your country. Don’t make people hate you. Be kind. Be considerate.
  2. Be prepared and do your homework. Do extensive research about the country/city you are about to visit. Ask around, especially to friends/families who had been there before. With sites like Couchsurfing, you can always get valuable insights from the locals about the best location to stay, local transport, customs and traditions, and so on. Learn a little bit of local language always helps–at least in the countries I have ever visited. I realized that the locals–including immigration officials, became much friendlier when I said a few words in their local language. I think they appreciate the fact that you care enough to try. Find out the proper outfit to wear. In some countries, women adhere to a certain way of dressing. In other countries, you need to wear long skirts or sarongs to visit temples and religious sites. To me, following the dress code is more about showing respect to the culture in a certain country rather than an attempt to avoid unnecessary attention (though it also helps you gain respect when you’re trying to dress like a local). I would suggest you to have your accommodation booked at least for your arrival day. This would calm you down, knowing that you already have somewhere to go and someone to contact as you exited the airport.
  3. Make connections. You can stay with a Couchsurfer. It’s a great way to experience a country from a perspective of a local. You can select a female host to stay with if it makes you feel safer. I would suggest you to stay with someone whose location has been checked, the identity has been verified, has been vouched for, and has hosted several travelers before. Do read people’s recommendations/testimonials about the host. If you’re not comfortable with the idea of staying with a stranger, go for hostels. You can do your research at HostelWorld. Most hostels have reception areas and common rooms where other travelers hang out. Make friends with them, chat about your itineraries and plans, sometimes you can arrange some trips together or tag along with someone. Make conversations with taxi drivers, waiters, shopkeepers. Ask them about the ‘local places’ to eat or shop.
  4. Don’t look lost. Sometimes we got worried, scared, confused, got lost. But, no matter what, appear calm and confident. Act as if you know what you need to do. When you’re waiting for someone, appear busy. Bring a book with you, so you can read instead of looking lost. Of course, you can also pretend to take photographs or listening to music from your iPod or fake-texting on your phone–but in some places you don’t want to flash your gadgets out. Book is rather safe. If you need to ask for directions, enter a nice hotel/inn/store/cafe and ask the concierge or the bellboy or the storekeeper or the waiter. If you’re out in the streets, ask in front of a group of people who doesn’t know each other, like in a shop, small restaurants, or bus stop–thus if someone is trying to mislead you, other people will catch that and butt in. Trust your gut. When something (or someone) doesn’t feel right, walk away from it.
  5. Make sure you can contact someone and can be contacted. Even if you don’t have local numbers, make sure that you can make an emergency phone call or send text messages. Have someone to contact in the city you’re in; either someone from your hostel, your embassy, a fellow traveler, or a local friend. Let someone at home–either families and friends know your plans and your whereabouts: your flights, hotels, and so on; at least they have a grip on where to find you. It will make you feel safer.
  6. Just remember that we are all human after all. We like to laugh and smile and be happy. We like to make friends and enjoy nice conversation. Some things are universal, like kindness. Be positive and see your next destination as an adventure, as a journey to find that kind-hearted person inside of you. Go out and see the world with this frame of mind, and you’ll be able to see beauty everywhere you go–even when it’s hidden in the most unlikely places.

Happy travels!

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25 thoughts on “Yes, I’m Female. And I’m Traveling Alone.

  1. Doris says:

    Great post! I will travel alone in March for the first time :) these tips will help a lot, thanks for posting.

  2. YunitaGena says:

    postingan yg keren. sangat setuju, wlau kadang2 kalo sendiri di suit2in norak suka kesel dan emosi…

  3. nomdeplumage says:

    Congratulations. I also travelled alone for seven months through Europe, against my family and friends advice. I understood their concern for a female travelling alone, but they had to understand my need to fulfil a dream. I survived and had a great time, proving to myself and my loved ones, that I could do it safely and I came back stronger, happier and more confident.
    One tip, listen to your gut instinct. If it does not feel right, do not do it. Have a great adventure and keep safe.
    Maria

  4. whoa I like traveling alone, my best trips are traveling alone, but I can’t write them yet.

  5. supernopha says:

    Kyaaaaa postingan kece! Aku mulai solo traveling tahun lalu. Makin kecanduan tahun ini. Banyak rencana dan tujuan untuk plesiran sendiri. Menyenangkan memang. Bertemu wajah wajah baru, cerita, dan pengetahuan baru. :)

  6. Love traveling alone too. I find the biggest challenge is to keep it cost effective/value for money, lots things are offer for at least 2 people. And I don’t mind getting lost in some places, because you usually find something interesting, but I know what you mean, in some places it is just not safe. =D

  7. jarwadi says:

    also a male traveller needs to read this tips :)

  8. evi says:

    what a great post!
    and thank you for following my blog :)

  9. I love your advice! Thanks for sharing :)

  10. vokland says:

    Great tips! Have you ever felt loneliness on your solo trip? If yes, how did you cope with it?

    • Hi! Loneliness? Very seldom. I am naturally a kind of person who needs more time to be alone, so the feeling of being alone is quite nice. I love writing, reading, and painting–quite solitary activities :D But if I feel lonely somehow, I will just go to Couchsurfing.org, type the city I am in, and find some locals that would like to meet up for some drinks/dinner, or hang out at hostel’s reception area so I can meet other travelers and tag along with them :)

  11. Great post! I travel on my own a lot, it’s so exhilarating. I wrote a similar post on making friends while travelling solo. I think couchsurfing is brilliant, just discovered that!

  12. Disa Tannos says:

    a long term solo trip. that’s the dream I just started saving for. thanks for this article, kak (:

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