:: tribute to ‘the one that got away’

Beberapa waktu lalu, kawan saya menuliskan pemikirannya tentang cinta—yang secara mengejutkan—indah, menurut saya. Kawan saya itu menulis mengenai The One That Got Away, seseorang yang terlepas begitu saja dari kehidupan Anda. Saya tak tahu apakah dia menulisnya sendiri, atau mengutipnya dari sumber lain, tapi begini isi tulisannya:

In life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one your first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with… and the one who got away.

Who is the one that got away?

I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a long time partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing.

It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance. How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will. The day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come.

Hopefully, you’re single… but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” You’ll wonder, “What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?”

That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully, you’re mature enough to realize that if you’re already with the one you’re with, that this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a “might have been,” but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple… find him, find her. Because the very existence of a “one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee; ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be “the one that got away” as well for the person who is your “the one that got away.” You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference.

If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow. And it would be a great feeling, if, in the end, you’d be able to say to someone, “Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away.”

Masihkah Anda memikirkan seseorang yang pernah hadir di masa lalu—dan hingga kini masih bertanya-tanya apa yang mungkin terjadi jika saja dulu Anda berani menanyakan nomor teleponnya, mengajaknya nonton, mengundangnya ngopi-ngopi berdua, menyatakan perasaan yang Anda pendam terhadapnya sekian lama?

Bagaimana jika kesempatan semacam itu hanya datang satu kali dan tidak bisa terulang lagi?

What are you waiting for? 🙂

Leave your traces here. I want to hear :)

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  • Sampai sekarang aku masih penasaran siapa yang ngirim surat cinta pertama ke aku waktu kelas 1 SMP dulu… Andai aku tahu.. ah sudahlah.

    hihihi iya, ya, dulu masih jaman surat cinta 😀 sebenarnya saya sendiri masih lebih suka mendapatkan surat cinta daripada email hehehe

  • Tulisan yang sangat menyentuh. Bila memang ada kesempatan, terlebih itu adalah kesempatan terakhir, ungkapkan saja. Selalu memang ada resiko dari sebuah pilihan, tapi hidup adalah hari ini, ketika kita mesti memaknainya dengan hal-hal berharga, termasuk tak melewatkan kesempatan yang terakhir datang.
    Ah, saya kok tiba2 teringat pada tulisan Narsis yang baru saya tulis.
    Thanks for share, Hanny..

  • eh hanny,.so now what are u waiting for ???

    udah nggak nunggu lagi, kok mas iman. ternyata nggak ada ruginya to show how you really feel 🙂 malah sebaliknya. dan saya berpikir, kenapa nggak dari dulu aja melakukannya, biar legaaaa. sekarang saya nunggu kabar soal notebook-nya 😀 (dance)

  • sekarang saya sudah berani bertanya sana-sini dari pada menyesal. tapi sampai saat ini masih ada 1 pertanyaan yang mengganjal dan sampai sekarang belum saya tanyakan… 😐

    you can do it, chik! ayo! 🙂

  • hmm.. seseorang? yang pernah ada kesempatan tapi ga dipergunakan? hmm…
    kaya’nya sih…. BANYAK! (woot)

    nyesel pasti ada,, pernah kepikir.. tapi yah, saya sih selalu memikirkan konsekuensi yang terjadi belakangan ini…

    kalo misal saya waktu itu melakukannya, pasti hari ini, saat ini bakal berbeda.. dan, buat apa nyesel yang terjadi saat ini?

    *just a thought

  • prinsip dita adalah katakan, lalu bila hasilnya tidak sesuai yg diharapkan itu adalah resiko, masalah sakit hati ato sedih bisa ilang seiring waktu, tapi rasa penasaran tdk ada obatnya selain dengan tindakan…

    lebih baik bilang “sudah saya lakukan dan gagal”, dari pada berhandai2 ‘kalo saja saya dulu lakukan apa ya hasilnya?’

  • waduuuhhh mba baca post yg ni bikin aku flashback ke masa lalu…
    aku pernah dalam kondisi seperti itu dan akhirnya i lost the moment and until now i still wondering where are him, what he doin’ and is he have girlfriend?

    hehhehe
    kadang-kadang kita selalu takut untuk memulai
    takut ditolak
    dan pada akhirnya memendam rasa terhadap seseorang yang ternyata memiliki arti dan tempat di hati kita…

    sekarang kalau ingat masa-masa itu…aku hanya bisa ketawa dan sedikit menyesal kenapa dulu tidak pernah coba ngobrol sama dia…
    hehhehehe