The start has ended.

“All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade away again…”
– Shimmer by Fuel –

“Flames to dust, lovers to friends. Why do all good things come to an end?”
– All Good Things by Nelly Furtado –

The flight was delayed for an uncertain period of time. I tried to start reading the novel Dead Poet Society, a novel I’ve been craving for. But I could not concentrate on the pages. I was too tired. A few minutes after the plane took off, half-an-hour late from the schedule, I fell asleep immediately.

He walked through a thin mist, and stood in front of me. Behind him was a view of a country I could barely recognize. He had gained some weights, but he looked charming as usual. The view behind him instantly changed into a busy airport, and he was wearing a neat pilot uniform. However, when he started to talk, we were strolling along a strange beach with lots of banyan tree growing on its shore.

“I’m going home,” he told me in a casual tone.
“But I’ve just arrived,” I said, feeling a bit hurt.
“Why don’t you come along with me?” he asked.
“Why don’t you stay here with me?” I hesitated.

The pilot told us that we were about to reach Jakarta in a few minutes. I yawned a few times, then gazed outside the cabin window. The night sky was tinted with distant flashes of lightning. Down there, the city was gleaming with white and yellow lights. Even in my dreams, I argue with him. Probably this is the reason why we have never crossed path.

Once, in a brief journey, he walked beside me as we traveled the road together. But at one point, the road became to narrow. So I decided to let him walk in front of me. For him to lead the way. But he walked too fast, and I could not follow him. I cried out for him to wait for me, to slow down, but he couldn’t hear me. His back was the last thing I saw before his silhouette got swallowed by the dusk.

Was it true that he walked too fast, that day?
My eyes got teary when I realized that it might not be the case. Came to think about it, I guessed he was sick of the journey as much as I did, and intentionally trying to run away from me.

Quoi qu’il arrive

This is getting funnier.
We’ve been fooled since early childhood.

“You have to put other people’s happiness before yours,” they taught us.

Where’s the logic, people?
Cause you can’t give away something that isn’t yours.
You can’t even give away tiny crumbs of happiness if you don’t have one!

Wake up. Pack your bag and pursue your happiness.
I’ll see you when we get there 🙂

The Days of Reamonn

Here I am again.
Behind the invisible wall I’ve built to protect myself from disturbance.

My mind goes chaotic.
This morning started out with a series of unfortunate events, plus a series of too-persistent phone calls from several disturbing people. To make it worse, it’s Monday. It’s raining heavily outside, and the sky is dark grey. The fact that bitchy people ruin my day in such a perfect weather feels like a betrayal.

Luckily, I have my earphone with me, so I can plug it into my laptop and listening to my lovely Reamonn. With maximum volume, that is. This is the sort of therapy I cherish …

The first time I heard about this Deutsche rock band was from a CD review written by Indra Herlambang in Free! Magazine. I don’t remember the exact words he used in his review, but it was something like this:
“Have you ever woke up in the morning with the feeling of missing someone so badly, yet you don’t know for sure who that someone is? That’s exactly how I feel when I’m listening to this record, Reamonn’s Beautiful Sky …”

I fell in love with his review in an instant, simply because I did know that kind of feeling. That feeling was too familiar back then.

Since I read the review, my life turned into a neverending Reamonn-hunt. I went to different music stores in Jakarta, looking for their CDs, or casettes, anything. I wasn’t lucky, though. No music stores seemed to show any traces of Reamonn, and the shopkeepers responded to my question about Reamonn with empty look upon their faces.

Finally, after 2 months searching, I found the record in a music store in my hometown. The one and only Reamonn CD on the shelf. I bought it immediately, and fell in love with it since then.

The first part is an intro, very solemn, very hypnotic, and as they played the opening melody of Beautiful Sky, I was being rolled over by past memories of mine. All those pictures in my mind seemed distant. It was as if I was watching a movie, a movie about someone else’s lives. Not mine. And I was merely an outsider.

I was speechless, pinned to my seat, reluctant to let go my earphone. From the darkest songs, until those very summer-like songs, the music bewitched me. This was the very first time I fell in love with a band I’ve never seen—I had no idea about their performance, the personnels, the history of the band … I didn’t really think that I wanted to know, either. It wasn’t important. I was too attached to the music—and that was all I need to know.

I have never tried to figure out if they will release another record or not—or whether they already have another records out there. I believe that if there were or if there will be other Reamonn’s records out there, it will come to me eventually, as magical as the first time, and I just don’t want to ruin the magical feeling I have over this particular rock band.


Rainy Saturday evening, in early December 2006.

I flipped my wet umbrella and inserted it into my postman bag. I went inside the music store just because I felt like it. I wasn’t planning to buy anything, and I wasn’t looking for any particular CD, either. I was only looking for a shelter from the heavy rain.

I’m not in a hurry, so I ran my fingers through the shelves, patiently examining the CDs on display, alphabeticaly. I read the names of all those bands I’ve never heard of, admiring beautiful CD covers, with different styles, different colors, different themes … Lovely. I find peace in places like this.

As my fingers moved slowly, for a reason I couldn’t explain, I felt a bit nervous. And it was as if the temperature was getting colder. I knew that something was going to happen. And I was right. Right there in front of me, was a beautiful CD cover: pitch black with a white bird wing and golden little flowers on the left side. I fished it out from the shelves, and my heart jumped a little when I read the name of the band: Reamonn. What?!! It can’t be!!!

Their new album entitled Wish. The cover was as beautiful as the first one, and the songs are even more amazing. It seems like their songs grow with me, the songs reflect the way I see my life these days. The fact that I want to live myself to the fullest, the fact they I have let him go. The bass, the snare, the drum, the vocal … they lifted me up even higher and brought some tears into my eyes. And the song L.A. Skies is just perfect 🙂

FYI, after I found the new Reamonn record, I fell in love with a CD cover from this band Train, entitled For Me, It’s You.

The cover is beautiful, a bit dream-like, and looks somehow innocent yet dark at the same time. I’ve never heard of Train, but decided to try my luck and bought the CD.

I played the record that night, after listening to Reamonn’s Wish. Train is super! Beautiful. Lovely.

I think sometimes you just have to follow your instinct and listen to your heart, probably then your true destiny will find its way to reach you.